Pony Tails or Tears?

This weekend I found myself more thankful than ever for the marvelous work of our Lord Jesus Christ. My sins are great.

Sunday (Easter) morning I ventured to the shower with a slightly uncoordinated gate, sipped a cup of coffee, and then attempted to get ready prior to my little ones scrambling out of bed. Before I set my piping hot mug down I heard little giggles and footsteps approaching. My heart instantly grew to mild anger (not a good kind of anger) because I did not even begin to get ready for the day. In the few seconds it took for my children to depart from the hallway and enter my "sanctuary" of a quiet bathroom, my sinful heart flooded with a multitude of unhelpful thoughts: "Why does the sun rise so early in this stupid town & wake my kids up SO early? Why can't I just get up earlier? Why do they always have to be exactly where I AM ALL THE time?... " Nothing about my thoughts where Christ-like & I knew instantly I needed to flee from this world of anger and disrespect. But I didn't.

I was able to greet my offspring with a warm "Happy Easter," a big bear hug, and lots of kisses. They jumped eagerly into the bath tub behind me with grand smiles. The questions began... "Are we going to Church? Will Jackie be there? Is it still Easter? Are we going to see Jake soon?..." I contained my feeling of wanting to scream, and decided to finish blow drying my hair (another story entirely). The NEW haircut was NOT helping my heart. Exasperated, I teared up. The hair was a disaster. I had flashbacks of jr high bad hair days. This was not good. Benjamin could see that I was upset about something. He just stared at me. I was still angry too.
After practically having a 8 year old temper tantrum about my hair, I decided it would be best to leave the room and take a deep breath. I opted for a pony tail instead of tears. I recovered and prepared my heart for worship with music and discussion on the way to church. Praise God!!

How quickly my heart neglects my King!

I should have begun my day with God's word and not a hot shower. I should have knelt on my knees & praised God for his greatness, His faithfulness, and His wondrous gift of Christ's blood on the cross covering a multitude of my sins. How quickly I fall into the damaging bland desires of the flesh and miss out on the tender mercies my Lord and Savior.

Driving to church in the car on Easter (bits of our conversation):

Benjamin: "How did Jesus carry our sins? Where did he put them? How did he hold them on the cross?"

Benjamin: "Mommy? Whats sins do you make? OH! I know Mommy..."

Mommy: holding her breath... worried what he might say...

Benjamin: "...You sinned that one time you yelled at me in the Kitchen. That was sinning."