Opening the door to my vanity (it actually fell off) just the other day i was reminded again of those days one year ago. That stupid door is always falling off the hinges and due to the reality that I am NOT a perfectionist and my husband is NOT a handyman, it will more than likely not get fixed any time soon. :) The door had kept safe a worn piece of paper that I hate so much. It had been hidden amongst lotion bottles and vitamin jars. I didn't even know it was there. It glared at me in a mocking voice, "you can never escape me!" I HATE that piece of paper. I hated seeing that uninteresting tire store coupon flier with words etched across the top. Poor little piece of paper. It didn't do anything wrong of its own accord, of course, but I hate it for what it signifies. Scribbled across the top of the flier in crayon are the words my doctor said as she explained my diagnosis to me. Seeing it reminded me of one year ago...Baby crying on the floor because I could not bare to hold him... Josh picking up Benjamin from violin practice.... Johnny watching TV, hoping it drowned out my tears....
Fresh memories. Old ones that hurt.
And we must, i tell myself in those moments of fear, we MUST remember the LOVE of Jesus. I know He graced us with the power of the Holy Spirit to comfort us.... So, we MUST focus our eyes on those things. Those good memories...And my year has been So FULL of God's goodness...
My husband and I have gone through such hardship and learned to love each other better. Are marriage has been refined. It needed it. Sanctification.
My children have had lots of opportunities to spend time with their grandparents. Treasure.
Friends have served us. Lovely.
The reality of death pierces worldly desires and shakes our reality in such a drastic way that our eyes can only look to the Cross. Glory to God.
5 comments:
Love this post! I agree so much about the year being FULL of God's Goodness. Glad He brought us together, friend.
Love this post! I agree so much about the year being FULL of God's Goodness. Where would we have been without His Goodness? So glad He brought us together, friend.
Thank you for sharing this, Cari. I adore you.
Beautiful, Cari. I love that you always find the good...I knew from the moment I met you that there was something special about you. Then, I learned more about you and knew I had been right as God's love and goodness just flows out of you, even in your darkest hours. I, too, thank Him for introducing you to me and I, too, adore you! Keep the blogs coming...they are so inspiring!
I've been reading through your blogs, and I just want to tell you I'm in love with you, but not in a weird way!! Haha!! I think we could be best friends! Too bad I no longer live in AZ. Im clear up north in eastern Wa. Love Joey Reed
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