today was monumental. i drove in my mini van to the local park's soccer fields and with two blond cuties holding soccer balls i grasped tightly to my iced coffee and took a deep breath. "how did i get here?" i am 30 something. you know like that show we used to watch and say, "those old married people who gripe about stupid things and forget to brush their hair.. i am never being like that." then as if i just woke up and found myself pregnant, married, and regretting that i did not have one those handy dandy little chairs with the cup holders (i get it now... yes, they are ugly, but quite functional) at the soccer fields. it was totally fun!!
the other frightening thing is that my oldest is on his way to Kindergarten. we drive by the school he will more than likely attend and i am flooded with a mix of emotions. kindergarten? those kids used to seem like giants to me when i worked in KY as a therapist. now i have one. "Drive by the SCHOOL?" you might be thinking? "I thought Joshua was a pastor?" Yes, joshua is still in the ministry and we are still lovers of Christ, but we have also pretty much decided that our kids will GO to school outside of the home.
there are many fears i have associated with sending my kids to school... "Will it ruin them? Will my friends think that I am not a wonderful & loving mother? What if he hates it? Am i missing out on a great times with my kids because I am not homeschooling?"
then i evaluate my guilt in light of the TRUTH of the Bible & I realize this is an area where i have freedom to make a choice. and I tell myself, "throw out that false guilt my dear!" reminders like that are helpful to someone who tends to error on the side of pleasing others...
why not homeschool? We might one day decide to homeschool our kids. that is definitely not out of the question. at this point i feel that it is not in the best interest of our family, particularly me as a mother and wife. i love teaching my kids in an informal way. we are constantly reading, discovering things about science, building, playing, planting...i take more of the Montessori approach in daily life! I work hard at keeping structure in our home when it comes to obedience, choirs, teaching the kids about Jesus, memorizing scripture, family worship...
inadequate mother, glorious savior.
3 comments:
Benjamin will do just fine in public school. After all he has a wonderful mom who will continue to point him to Christ daily!
I too am a soccer mama! Love'n it.
I hear ya on the "comments" regarding your kids going to "real school" as Hannah calls it. It just isn't in the best interest for some families. I pray that God will lead you in what is best for your kids:)
OH, oh you are so precious dear Cari! I love this whole post... and all of them up now!... but your last words here are simply the best.
Yes- I know well that inadequacy and delight to pursue that glory with you dear friend!
I'd love to clink an iced decaf with you and cheer for our boys on the soccer field together!
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