grapefruit picnic & a bit of honesty.

The beautiful weather complimented the multitude of families & friends hanging out on the lawn at church today. It was lovely how much fun the kids all had, running around, half eating their food, and joyfully enjoying the fellowship of their buddies. The teens in our church are inclusive with the young ones which helps promote such a warm and congenial atmosphere.

I had to laugh at my own attitude this afternoon. It began sweet and ended in a mixture of something that resembled a grapefruit - not sweet, not bitter, but a tad bit of both! You must first remember that i am the wife of a pastor... let's be honest, no class at seminary can truly prepare you for that role. :)

It began post service, after running to my car twice (once to change my shoes and the second to put the boys in shorts and deliver our arm fulls of crafts and paperwork from Sunday school). I was standing in line chatting with friends, attempting to keep Johnny from pulling on my dress in such as way that I flashed my backside to all members waiting for their meal behind us in line, and I realized I had no idea where my husband was. Glancing far in the distance I saw him talking to people, walking a few feet in my direction, and then talking to a few more people. It seemed they appeared to be approaching him from all sides and he couldn't get more than a few feet before someone else approached him. My thoughts were sweet towards him and his great responsibility as senior pastor of this church.

Looking to my right across the lawn I noticed a fragile elderly lady trying to balance her plates of dinner & cake as she fumble in her purse to locate her keys. All I could think was, "hip fracture waiting to happen & wow, i bet she really misses HER husband!" Plus she reminded me SO much of my darling grandmother that I felt totally convicted to run and help her! Maybe I should have walked!! Abandoning my place in line I ran, with sweet johnny cheerfully tagging along behind me, down the short embankment and diagonally over the grass. Suddenly I was face to face with the luscious green blanket, haven fallen forward. I gasped. Did my dress swoop over my head exposing my lovely undergarments to half the congregation?? hope not! Was my rather pregnant self injured? don't think so. Precious Hena, who calls me Lady Cari because I remind her of Princess Diana, ran to my rescue! We have some of the kindest people in our church & i love them so much!

I made it to Miss. Betty as she was opening her door. She had managed to balance the dinner plate on the trunk and the cake plate on the hood. No broken bones. She actually felt horrible for me, having crashed landed to aid her! :)

I returned to the line. Pride bruised. Thankful.

My glances for Joshua were now getting a bit more tangy & not so sweet. I prayed that God would give me patience and rest my weary heart as it ached for a bit of help! Was this what I signed up for? Yes. I thought as I looked around at the people of Trinity. Yes.

The thought was fleeting and I dismissed my tangy tinge of jealously as my friends had their spouses grabbing napkins and coordinating their children's plates like a dance. Mine didn't look for poetic & beautiful!!

I made it through the food line minus one hot dog (to the floor), a few tears from my eldest (over the downed hot dog), and some quiet prayers (to pace my racing heart & control my ever increasing frustration over this loneliness). EEERRR that tangy taste was getting bitter. I could feel it.

I am thankful for a Savior who gives peace, which He so graciously grated to me as I sat down on the green meadows of our church commons and reflected on what a great shepherd my King is to his sheep! I reminded myself of his promises (something I have been doing a lot lately) and was joined shortly by a handsome and kind pastor - my husband. :)

I encourage you pastor's wives out there - it is a good and faithful service. You are not balancing your plates for no reason. You are not falling in the grass, and chasing after three year olds alone at Sunday picnics for no reason. You are not sharing his affections on this day, and many days for no reason... Look to the cross my dear wives in the ministry because it is a great source of hope and eternal perspective. This is a good work!

May your thoughts be more sweet than bitter!!!